Dear Children,There are some things I simply do not understand. Perhaps you can help me with them.
How is it we can have no less than 10 trash cans in our home, yet not a single one in the kitchen? Do they grow legs and run about the house, all landing in a big heap in the dining room when they collide, spilling their contents all over the floor? What happened to the good old days when the garbage cans just sat there? You know, in the place that I put them?
Why do I keep finding cereal all over the bathroom floor? Really...are your lives so busy that you've taken to eating your Coco Puffs while you're on the toilet?
How is it EVERY SINGLE DAY, I find at least two cups of dry cereal spread about the kitchen and/or dining room floor? Have they truly made boxes so difficult to close that you are physically incapable of shutting them?
What is it about the bath mat? Why does it have juice spilled on it, cereal ground into it, makeup dumped on it (Who is getting into my makeup anyway?), shampoo oozed all over it? It's a rug. On a floor. Juice, cereal, makeup, and shampoo don't even belong on a floor to begin with! Is the bath mat just a huge "stuff" magnet?
Why do I keep finding toilet paper in our laundry? Do you think we are so poor that we have to wash and re-use it? (I do hate to tell you, toilet paper doesn't wash well at all!)
Oh, and about that laundry - what's the deal with the PAIRED SOCKS that I keep finding? And those shirts? You know, the ones you have NEVER EVER EVER EVER worn, yeah those...how do those keep ending up in the dirty laundry, too? I mean, really, if they still have the tags on them, I think it's safe to say they're not dirty, don't you?
Also, how is it Barbie clothes end up in the dirty laundry as well? I don't recall buying "Sweating Barbie" recently. Why do her clothes need washing?
Oh, and that thing you guys have about knocking the toilet paper springy-thingamabob out of its holder? I'm not too fond of that. It means the toilet paper has to sit on the sink, where it gets wet. I don't like to wipe with wet, sticky, clingy toilet paper. Do you?
I'm thinking some changes need to be made.