We finally have both dressers and the loveseat! We also bought a new desk, so we don't have to pick up the one we were going to borrow. The only piece of furniture that we have that isn't here is my grandmother's hutch, which is still safely tucked in my brother's huge garage. By golly, it's starting to look like someone ACTUALLY lives here!
Ok, so I know I complained about becoming a part-time mom in my last post. But there is one distinct advantage. When I ask Alex to do something, like help me with the dishes or take the garbage out, he says, "Sure." Then he gets up and does it.
This is a big change from chore time before. It took hours, and sometimes days, to get him to do his chores - and even then, he did them half-assed. But here, he hops right up and helps me do whatever it is that needs done. The longest I've had to wait is a minute or two while he finishes up something he's involved in.
It's also much easier for me to say, "Yes" when he wants something. This is mainly because there is only one kiddo involved and not three. "Hey, can we go get ice cream?" "Sure." Much easier to come up with three bucks on the spur of the moment than ten or fifteen.
Maybe it's just because he's becoming a young man. Maybe it's just because in front of his brother and sister, he feels he has to show off. Maybe it's just because there aren't two other kids here pulling my attention away from him. Whatever the reason, I am enjoying it!
So after an agonizing 51 days without internet access, I'm baaaaaaack!
I'd love to report that we're all moved in, but that's not quite the case. We have a loveseat, two dressers, a hutch, and a desk that are spread throughout three towns, yet. Unfortunately, we don't have the funds to actually GET them here. But we're surviving ok without them. Don't like living out of boxes, but we're getting used to it. LOL
For those of you looking to put a face on my beautiful sweetheart, I'll share a picture.
This is Lisa, and she's amazing:
It's really strange to go from full-time mom to weekend mom. Poor Alex was so bored to death, he asked if he could spend the night at his friend's house. I could hardly say no. I know our place is boring. You can only watch so many movies without going stir crazy. He took off a little while ago. I hope he has more fun there than he did here. LOL
That's about all I have to write about at the moment. I'll be around more often, now that we have internet again.
Leave a comment and let me know how YOU've been doing.
I realized that last post, I hadn't mentioned Lisa. She's my wonderful significant other. :)
Anyway, we found an apartment! The landlady assumed we were just roommates, which was fine by us. We didn't correct her. (Though she may have heard me say, "Honey, we're home!" as she was leaving after we'd signed the lease.) LOL
It's small. But with just the two of us, that's ok. It's got a nice-sized living room, and an open layout. No kitchen to speak of - just some cabinets, a stove, and fridge tucked into a corner, basically. It'll certainly do, though. It's definitely an eat-on-the-couch setup. Which would be fantastic...if, say, we had a couch. LOL Actually, Lisa's cousin is loaning us a futon, which is awesome. A place to sit! Woohoo!
I have to say, it's very strange to have to start completely over. Or nearly so, anyway. I do have my grandmother's bedroom set, which helps quite a bit. And her hutch, which is very pretty, but not nearly as functional as a table or something. We also have a coffee table and a bookshelf. Hey, it's a start.
Apartment hunting, as a same-sex couple, in a city with a small-town mentality is interesting. We got a strange look from one landlord, but honestly, I think maybe she thought I was looking for an apartment just for me at first. When I mentioned "WE" work 2nd shift, I think she started to catch the drift and gave us a wary look. At the other complex we looked into today, there was anti-discrimination literature posted all over the wall as soon as you walk into the office. None of it specifically pertained to orientation, but some of it did mention both marital status and familial status.
We're looking at a town of about 34,000 - much bigger than where I grew up, but smaller than where I'm living now. A town where there are very, very, very few non-white families. A town where it's still considered "ok" to openly disparage those of another skin color - something that most of the country gave up (at least for the most part) years and years ago. That's a fight that took decades, and in our backwater town, the fight still needs to be fought. The younger movement of GLBT rights may be too much for our small city to handle just yet.
Still, neither of the apartment communities we toured today were openly hostile. That's something!
Soooo...at the very end of January, I asked Tai for a divorce. On the first of February, I moved out.
He's a terrific guy. He's witty and intelligent. He's a good father and husband. But there was a combination of two major factors that just wouldn't allow the marriage to work.
First, we had very, very little in common. Sure, the house and kids, but nothing outside of responsibilities to talk about. We couldn't watch the same tv shows together without one of us wanting to snooze. Second, the one thing we DO have in common doesn't particularly bode well for a marriage. We both like women.
Yeah. Did I mention that, at the ripe old age of 34, I've finally come to realize I'm gay? One would think I could have figured it out 20 years ago, but no. I've got to do it the hard way. It's much harder on Tai than me, unfortunately. If there was any way I could have told him and left him without hurting him, believe me, I would have.
It kills me that I have hurt him so deeply. But to continue to stay would have been cruel to him. He deserves to find a woman who can devote her WHOLE self to him. Right now, he feels as though I've been using him for years, and that I've never loved him. That couldn't be further from the truth. I will love him until the day I die - just not necessarily in a romantic sense. I hope that someday he will be able to move past the hurt and the anger to see that I truly do love him, and I want him to be a big part of my life. Do I expect it to happen? No. But I hope with all my heart that it does.
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses On And Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice! 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries With That. 4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso. 5. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana '. 6. Skip Down The Hall Rather Than Walk And See How Many Looks You Get. 7. Order A Diet Water Whenever You Go Out To Eat, With A Serious Face. 8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 9. Sing Along At The Opera. 10 Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because YouHave A Headache. 11 When The Money Comes Out Of The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 12 When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile. It's Called.... THERAPY
I must have THE worst immune system for someone who does not suffer from an immunodeficiency disease. I'm sick - again. For the fourth time this fall. This really isn't fair - not with my family life and chosen line of work.
I have three kids that go to three different schools. That means three times the germs come home. And I work with developmentally disabled adults, who aren't exactly known for their good hand washing habits.
It doesn't seem to matter how many gallons of Germ-X I go through, or how much anti-bacterial soap I use. I still catch every gosh darn bug that I come into contact with.