Dear Reproductive System,
It has come to my attention that you have not been acting like a team player within our company. I have been told that some of your recent activities have caused great upset in other departments. This stress then reaches further when those within our company get snippy with our customers and agencies with which we work closely.
It has also been brought to my attention that there has been a large leak within the company every month or so, and that many suspect that you are likely the cause. Again, this causes many issues within other departments, causing morale to decrease severely, and productivity to all but come to a halt. Also, it has been noted that drug-use within the company increases drastically within 24 hours of the leak, and continues for approximately one week. This further aggravates the productivity of the company.
In short, you have been causing a very inhospitable workplace environment. This can no longer be tolerated, and if it continues, steps can and will be taken to ensure your removal from the company.