Monday, January 28, 2008

So the police searched my house today...

We woke up this morning to an old, bitter man coming to our door. He asks my husband, "Have you seen my cat?" My husband tells him no, we haven't seen his cat for a couple of days.

The old man says, "Well he's always on your porch, and I don't appreciate it."

Uhm, excuse me? Ok, he's your cat. And you let him outside. And it's OUR fault he stays on our porch?

My husband tells him, "Well, we don't feed him, and we don't let him inside. We just keep the box out there so he doesn't freeze to death."

The old man says, "Don't need no god damned box. He ain't gonna freeze. He's got a nice home. I don't wanna have to call the authorities, but I will if I have to."

Uhm. Ok. Your cat comes to our porch. And you're gonna call the authorities on us. Go for it, mister.

Tai tells him, "We can take the box down, I suppose. But I don't think that will help you find your cat."

Old man leaves.

And an hour later, he shows back up again with a police officer.

He's sworn to the police officer that his cat is in our house. We've officially been accused of catnapping. Ha ha!

So the police officer asks us if we have his cat. We tell him that we don't. We've got three cats, and have pictures and paperwork for all three to prove they're ours.

The old man gets grumpy and bitches a little bit, and the officer asks if he can come inside to make sure we don't have the old man's cat.

We tell him sure, why not. He comes in, and we introduce him to Gizmo, Kamiko, and Fenris - none of which look anything at all like the cat the old man is describing.

And the officer tells us, "To tell you the truth, I don't think the old man is all there, if you know what I mean. I just wanted to come in to make it look like I was doing something. I don't think you've got his cat. I appreciate you cooperating like this." Ha ha!

He goes back out and tells the old man that there is no cat fitting his cat's description in the house, and the old man stomps off, grumbling, to his car.

Ok, the cat this guy describes is a striped gray and white cat. He calls him a "he." We DO have a cat that mostly fits that description that sleeps in the box on our porch most nights. SHE hangs out outside our house a LOT. If SHE happens to be the cat the man is talking about (I've seen another in the neighborhood that fits the description and may actually be male.), he sure as hell does not take care of her. Leaving her outside when the wind chill is 18 below zero and shit.

I'm leaving the box on the porch, and I don't give a rat's ass what the old man thinks of it. All it is is a cardboard box that has been weatherproofed with garbage bags, and it's got a blanket and an old pair of sweatpants in it. It sits on an old carpet remnant, and it faces my house, so the wind doesn't get in it too bad. Like Tai said, we're not feeding it, and we're not letting it in. So if the cat wants to sleep in the box because its owner can't be bothered to let it indoors when it's freakin' cold outside, I'm going to let it.


Mindi said...

At least the cop was cool about it, sometimes they can be real buttheads. Poor kitty, having to sleep outside in this weather. Of course you have to kind of feel sorry for the old guy if he's losing it... Poor kitty. ;-)

We got another dog last night, she's #7. She's supposed to go to a foster home for the rescue, but I have a feeling she may have moved in for good... In the meantime I had to break up a fight between her and our alpha female this afternoon. Ugly. Have you every tried to type with Band-Aids on your 2 middle fingers? Seriously, the ring finger on my right hand looks nasty, a big old chunk of skin is gouged out but still attached by more than a sliver of skin. I'm too chicken to go to the ER though. That's a brave MT for ya!

Willow said...

"Quick, hide the granola!" Hee hee...

I'm sorry the old guy can't find his cat but's freakin' winter. no animal should be outside this time of year - house or not.

...just-rambling... said...

That was too funny!

Anonymous said...

I just hate that there are so many irresponsible pet owners. I'm currently living with one. Thank you for putting that box out there for the cat. This old coot doesn't deserve to have the cat, in my opinion.