So a little while back, I posted an entry about Perrin's meltdowns in school.

It's getting worse.

Thursday, he had a meltdown that turned violent. He had to be restrained for nearly two hours because he was a danger to himself and others. He was also being very explicit about a myriad of ways he was going to kill himself.

It freaked me out...justifiably so, in my opinion. So we took him to the ER of a hospital that has a child psych ward. By the time he was evaluated, of course, he had calmed down, and he was his "regular" self. Thus, they didn't keep him because he wasn't an immediate threat to himself or others. Makes sense.

But they did manage to set us up with an organization that could provide counseling and psychiatry services. Thankfully. With any luck, this week, we'll get that started. It's spring break, so he won't have the stress of school. I'm hoping that will help, too.

I watched him yesterday while playing a game. It used to be he could self-monitor, and when he started getting angry, he would put himself in a different room and calm down. But watching him yesterday, I understand now his problem and his meltdowns. The switch from happy to angry is soooooooo fast, there's no time for him to stop it. It happened in a split second. Literally.

I'm really worried about him. I don't know if this is something counseling alone can help, or if there are other biological factors at play. His bio-mom is bipolar. So are her parents. It's quite possible that's his problem too. It may be something else.

It's very frustrating to watch your son explode and not know how to help him. I worry about him all the time, now. I've decided I really can't look for a job right now because who knows when I will have to go to the school because he's had another meltdown. I need to be free, because he's my first priority.

I know this is kind of a muddled blog entry. I have a nasty headache this morning, so I'm not thinking too clearly. Anyway, that's what's going on.