PMS WARNING

Thank you for joining us this afternoon for the PMS Forecast.

Beginning this afternoon we can expect to see increasing breast tenderness possibly lasting through the weekend. This tenderness, combined with bloating and tissue swelling, will cause the breasts to become virtually untouchable by the end of the week.

Meanwhile, as estrogen and progesterone levels change, nerotransmiters such as serotonin, GABA, and norepinephrine will go wild. Anyone who can stay inside and away from these extreme conditions should do so. It is advised that anyone who must be exposed to these conditions be extremely careful and proceed with caution.

During the hormonal shifts, you can expect to see sudden showers of tears appearing out of the blue. Storms are highly likely over the next few days. You can expect to hear rolling thunder in the form of a woman's voice, which may be loud, but is rarely dangerous. Also, do not be surprised when sudden bolts of lightning, again, coming out of the blue, strike those who have exposed themselves to these conditions. We do not expect these storms to last very long, but they will likely be frequent.

Again, the PMS Forecast wants to make sure that its readers understand - it is safest to stay inside and away from these elements whenever possible. Take cover.