The post where I complain a whole lot

I don't feel well. I don't feel well at all. My ears are killing me, and I'm fairly certain there shouldn't be this sloshiness about them. Everytime I move, slosh, slosh, slosh. Sloshiness here, sloshiness there, here a slosh, there a slosh, everywhere a slosh, slosh. And with each slosh comes an excruciating pain - something akin to being poked with a red-hot needle right in the ear drum. You know how it goes when you are cleaning your ears with a q-tip and you accidentally push it too far in (ouch! ouch! ouch!)? Imagine instead of that nice cotton-swathed end, a red-hot extra pointy needle with jagged edges forcing itself into your eardrum over and over and over. Oh yeah. My ears are having a good day. Did I mention that with the sloshiness comes dizziness?

And my throat feels like it's about to become so swollen that I won't be able to swallow or even breathe. It feels like there are golf balls attached to the sides of my throat/neck just under the skin. Yeah, throat is sore, glands are swollen, this is all sorts of fun.

Did I mention my face? My face that feels like it shouldn't fit in this room? You know that part of your face that generally, you aren't allowed to see except in a mirror? The area around your eyes? Well guess what? My sinuses are so swollen I'm actually able to seeeee that part of my face! I can see above my eyes! I can see below my eyes. This is just WRONG! With my sinuses pushing up and out and trying to break free, they're managing to make my eyeballs all wonky, too. (Is wonky a word?) If I wasn't dizzy because of my sloshiness, I'd certainly be dizzy because of wonkiness.

But look at me. I'm both sloshy AND wonky. Woohoo! Watch me fall down the stairs, ladies and gentlemen!

Oh, one more thing. Has anyone besides me noticed just how large cold and flu tablets are these days? Don't the people who make these things realize that the more symptoms you have, the SMALLER they need to make the pills? I don't care if I'd have to take six pills instead of two, make them smaller PLEASE! How am I supposed to get that GIGANTIC thing down this throat that has approximately the same diameter as a McDonald's straw? Don't these people ever actually get SICK themselves? Sheesh...

Ok, there were two more things. I quit smoking yesterday. My heart is racing, my hands are trembling, I feel like I'm going to die. And that's in addition to the sloshiness, the wonkiness, and the dizziness. Yay!