OK, I can't stop...

So my computer is dead, and I still can't stop blogging. ;o) I sneak into my son's room and steal computer time from him. Tee hee!

Anyway, good news! This chart thing seems to be working with the kids! Each child had three chores yesterday. I walked in at 5:30 last night and asked them to do their chores real quick before dinner. EVERYONE was done in less than TWENTY minutes! Yay!! No arguments. No fuss. No fight. They just DID it! Woohoo!

My Not-Quite-Mother-In-Law will be here early Friday morning. So far, I've cleaned out the linen and coat closets, re-organized the kitchen cabinets, re-organized the pantry, shampooed the carpet in the dining room, and taken control of the shoes. In addition to regular housework, of course. I think today I will tackle the top of the refrigerator, the laundry area, and shampoo the carpet in the living room and hallway.

I got an email from the nine year old's teacher yesterday. She was answering a question for me, but she also let me in on a secret. Report cards come out the first day after Easter break, so she had just finished tallying the grades. He made straight A's! Woohoo! Tai had told him that if he got straight A's on a report card, we'd take a trip to Illinois this summer. Looks like we'll get to go home for a visit! We haven't told A yet. We'll let him see it on his report card. Keep him in suspense for a couple more weeks. *grin*

Heard from the 5 year old's therapist yesterday, too. Apparently, he's not a psychiatrist like we thought. Oops. But we discussed some of my worries about P, and he agrees that it sounds like there is a biological basis for many of his behaviors. So he's going to get in touch with a child psychiatrist to see what we can do about possibly getting the poor kid on some drugs. I think it will help GREATLY. We need him stable enough that working with him at home can have some effect. His mood swings are so drastic that it's difficult to get through to him now. And it HAS to be HELL for him - to go from a perfectly fine mood into a rage for no good reason...several times a day...has to be frustrating and draining on him. Again, wish us luck!

Anyway, that just about catches everything up, I think.

I can still get to my email

While I may not have a chance to get to my blog everyday, I can still get to my email thru A's computer. So if you are someone I generally talk to online or receive email from, go ahead and mail me. ;o) I'd appreciate it if you'd not send any "fwd"s though. It's a pain in the ass to get to my mail from the webpage rather than using POP mail. Thanks!

ACK!

Well, it's official. My computer died. It's dead. It went kaput. I won't be updating the blog for a few days, at least. Looks like we need to find a new motherboard. Wish us luck.

Damn video card

I'm having a heck of a time getting the computer to work. Something is going wrong with the video card, and it doesn't want to work. Anyway...

We had a busy day today. Took the kids to a local national park to splash around in the creek this morning. They had a lot of fun. P was soaked up to his hair, A & D were soaked to their knees. It was a mother's nightmare. Not only were the kids getting wet and muddy, they were getting sandy. And then they were gonna get back in the car! Ack! Tai took care of it all, and had changes of clothes ready for them in the car. He threw up some towels over the windows of the car doors, which he left open, then covered the distance between them with a blanket, so they had a changing area. It worked pretty well. Everyone ate McDonald's, then took a short nap, then we were off again. We went to see the second Scooby Doo movie. I wasn't excited by it, but the popcorn was good. P was really enjoying the music - gettin' down right there in the theater. That was a sight to see!

Anyway, Tai is on the phone making plans with friends for tomorrow. I'm gonna go listen in. ;o)

It might just be a decent weekend!

The kids' bedrooms are clean. Yes, you read that right - they're CLEAN! No yelling and screaming. No throwing tantrums. I said, "Clean your rooms." And guess what happened? Twenty minutes later, their bedrooms were clean! It's amazing! I'm awed! I'm...I'm...just...wow.

So last week, I bought wipe-off calanders for each of the kids. On these calanders, I write the chores for each child. Once a chore is accomplished, I put a green checkmark beside it. On the bottom of each day, I put a red checkmark for each time he or she goes to timeout. I tally up the red vs green checkmarks, and whichever is greater is the color check he or she gets for the day. If there are more green checks than not for the week, we will do something cool over the weekend. They all seem to like the immediate positive reinforcement of the green checkmarks, and have an easier time recalling the things they've done wrong when we put up a red check. This could be a good thing! We've had clean bedrooms for three days in a row, now...it's getting scary.

Maybe yes. Maybe no. Who decides?

So Tai is trying to manipulate me into going back to school. At least to get an associates degree. I have enough college credit to be a senior - just need a few more classes and an internship to get my bachelors in social work. The problem is, I can't do any of that from home. But perhaps getting an associates from home, or mostly from home, is a possibility via online courses.

I'm really getting rather grumpy about his manipulative approach. He didn't just say, "get a catalogue and see what you can do." He went about it the "nice" way. Made me think it was my idea. But I know it wasn't. I hate school. At least I do now, anyway.

There was a time when I enjoyed it, but that was when I was in a community college back home, and the classes were made up of adults. Then I went to ISU, where I got bombarded with 18 year old idiots. "But, but...Mr. S., if you don't give me an A, my daddy won't buy me a car!" I'm serious. This happened. "Ohhhh, you can make macaroni and cheese? I love macaroni and cheese! Maybe you can show me sometime?" This one is another favorite. That particular one was a young girl talking to a young boy in class. Yes, IN class. While I'm trying to listen to the stinking lecture. Then of course, there were the group project incidents. You know the ones...where you do 9000 hours of research, write an awesome paper, write out all of the little speeches that each member of the group has to read...but NOBODY else does any of the work? And then they complain when they get a B+ instead of an A? I think I went through six of those in my time at ISU. Always, I was the one doing all of the work. I finally called several students on it. Went to the teacher afterwards, said, "If it didn't seem like they knew what they were talking about, it was because they didn't." They failed. I got my stinkin' B+ and ran with it. I got evil looks from those same kids in every subsequent social work class I had with them.

What does a stay-at-home-mom need with a degree anyway? Will it help me clean the house better? Yeah, sure it would be nice to have something to show for all of those hours I put in at school...but really, what's the point?

Naptime, blessed naptime...

So my best friend is on vacation, and it's throwing everything out of whack. I'm generally on the phone with her when D is down for her nap, and this is when I get housework done. But wouldn't you know, she's gone, and I can't seem to be able to fold laundry without the phone attached to my ear! Ack!

Why is it men don't get us?

There is a guy I know from online that is constantly asking why women are so strange. And what do they really want? The Ex II has also asked me what women really want. I'm not sure what they find so difficult to understand about us, really. We're just people, after all.

I'm not sure how to even approach the "Why are women so strange?" question, since I'm not sure of his definition of strange. But the what women want part? That seems pretty easy to me.

Women want:
Someone who deserves her trust
Someone who trusts her
Someone who deserves her respect
Someone who respects her
Someone who appreciates what she does
Someone who is willing to be her friend
Someone who isn't afraid of emotional intimacy
Someone who will be a true partner
Someone who listens
Someone who only gives advice when asked for it
Someone who cleans up after himself
Someone who admits he's wrong
Someone who doesn't tease her after she admits she's wrong
Someone who listens without being judgemental
Someone who needs her but isn't needy
Someone who is willing to be needed but not clung to
Someone who is willing to give his opinions
Someone who wants to hear her opinions
Someone who will always be honest without being brutal
Someone who is not offended by her honesty
Someone who realizes that she'd like to spend the rest of her life with him
Someone who realizes that she's capable of surviving without him
Someone who has a sense of humor
Someone who appreciates her sense of humor
Someone who is willing and able to give her hours and hours of orgasmic bliss ;o)

I think that about sums it up. I'm sure I'll think of more later, but that'll have to do for now. Oh, disclaimer: I used the word "he" and "him" in here for simplicity's sake. You never know, depending on the woman, she may be looking for a "she" or "her".

What am I forgetting, ladies? Comment below.

Something I don't admit often: I was wrong.

In October, I signed a figurative 15 year contract to do the hardest job I'll ever have: raise two more children to adulthood. Not just any two normal children, but kids with an unstable background. I had a relatively decent resume, having raised my son, A, to the ripe old age of 8 without killing him, or even allowing him to get into an accident that required a doctor's care. I went to college and got good grades in all of my social work classes. I worked in a crisis nursery and cared for abused and neglected kids. I worked in daycare. All in all, I thought I was pretty well prepared for the job. I was wrong.

I knew that P had some issues. I knew that because of his past, he was going to be a special-needs child. I didn't know that he was going to be suicidal (at age five!!!). I didn't know that he was going to declare all-out war against Tai and I in an attempt to make us believe he was unlovable. I didn't realize he was going to do everything in his power to piss me off, over and over, day after day. Of course I suspected these things would happen - but to a much, much lesser degree than reality has proven.

I assumed that D would have more issues than she has actually shown. She frustrates me at times, but honestly, she's just pushing the typical three-year-old buttons, testing her limits. Unfortunately, at times, she looks up to P & A, and chooses to model her behavior after theirs. This is not a good thing these days.

I also figured that it would take A a little bit of adjustment to get used to going from being an only child to one of three. I didn't expect him to completely alter his entire personality - to go from a sweet, caring, loving child to a mean-spirited, selfish, bullying one. But it seems that is what he has done. I don't know what normal brothers act like, but these two are constantly at each other's throats.

When I signed up for this job, I knew it would be a challenge. I just didn't realize how much of a challenge it would be. Days like yesterday certainly put my patience & abilities to the test. I don't think I've ever felt as much like a failure as I did by the end of last night. I was thoroughly convinced that I was a terrible mother, and that the kids would grow up to be serial killers, all because I didn't do my job well. All because I couldn't get them to clean their rooms.

This morning, however, I realized this: Yesterday sucked, but no one ended up being buried in the backyard. No one suffered any lasting physical or psychological damage. No one went hungry. No one was cold. And everyone got tucked into bed with a hug and kiss goodnight. Sometimes, that's all a mom can ask for in a day, isn't it?

It's only been six months. We're all still adjusting. Tho I may have gone to bed weary last night, I did get up to meet the challenge again today. I didn't give up. Maybe I'm not such a complete failure after all.

Bashing our heads against a brick wall...

That's what it feels like Tai and I have been doing all day. Over and over and over.

The day began with children up and screaming at the top of their lungs at 6:00 for breakfast. This was followed by P taking a leak in his closet. *bash, bash, bash* There's nothing like a little piss in the closet to start the day off right. This lovely "Good morning to you" was followed by no less than seven straight hours of the clean-your-room game. Three kids. One room. Seven hours. *bash, bash, bash* Meanwhile, throughout the clean-your-room game, the kids kept throwing us little surprises. Like P biting the bulb from a night light. Until it broke. In his mouth. *bash, bash, bash* Fortunately, somehow, he escaped harm from the broken glass, thank God. We got the glass cleaned up, or thought we did, and A found a piece underneath their bed, at which point, he said, "I don't want to clean under the bed. I'm afraid I'll get cut." He then proceeded to go out into the hallway, and in the sweetest voice possible, ask his sister to go clean out the stuff from under his bed. *bash, bash, bash* Shortly after this, P decided that it might be fun to stand on the windowsill and bang on the window. We're on the third floor. *bash, bash, bash* We had told the kids that they could have lunch after they got the boys' bedroom clean...and so finally, near 3:00, we were finally able to eat lunch. And after lunch, we played more of the clean-your-room game with D's room. Fortunately, it didn't take as long, but regardless, Tai and I have decided that the children are out to get us. *bash, bash, bash*

Meanwhile, I'm on day six of my diarrhea-from-hell-week, so I had to run back and forth to the bathroom all day. Yeehaw, ain't life grand? *bash, bash, bash*

More Preparation

Well, I went to Walmart last night in hopes to prepare more for the coming of the Not-Quite-Mother-In-Law. Picked up some fabric to re-do the kitchen chairs. Our first attempt turned out lovely...and I use the term "our" loosely - this was Tai's project - but the cloth we had on hand last time shows every single spill that has ever occurred on it. And with three kids, that's a lot of spills. After taking the carpet shampooer to the chairs on a couple of occasions, we've decided that perhaps it would be easier to re-do them. Thus, I picked out a lovely shade of brown vinyl type stuff. They may not turn out to be the most beautiful chairs in the history of mankind, but they will most certainly look better than they do now! I also picked up some cloth that matches D's "Crazy Daisy" comforter and pillow sham. Thought the fabric would make a great valance for her window. Which of course meant that I had to pick one out for the boys, as well. They got a dark blue/black/night sky looking fabric for theirs. Like Tai has nothing better to do than sew curtains. Yes, he is the owner of the sewing machine. This shouldn't surprise anyone that knows me. So I'll sit back and take credit along with him - we made this, we made that - and I'll be lying. But hey, I did pick out the fabric!

How to piss me off...if you're a kid.

1. Ignore me when I tell you to clean up the Legos.
2. Ignore me when I tell you to clean up the Legos the second time.
3. Ignore me when I tell you to clean up the Legos the third time.
4. Ignore me when I tell you to clean up the Legos the fourt, fifth, sixth, seventh, eigth, ninth, tenth, twentieth, thirtieth, fortieth, and fiftieth times.
5. Throw a fit when I tell you that you can no longer have Legos.

Overwhelming urge

I have an overwhelming urge to write today. The problem is, I have nothing to write about. I'm not even sure what I'd like to write...a poem? a kids' story? a simple blog entry? I just don't know. If anyone has any suggestions, please, let me know!

World War III & Strange Dreams

It has become painfully obvious that WWIII and the second Great Flood are simultaneously occurring within my digestive system. Perhaps during a hurricane. Or a maybe typhoon. I have no fever, and for the most part, my hair doesn't hurt. So maybe it's not the flu. Maybe it is food poisoning or something. But I can't think of anything that I've eaten that the rest of the family hasn't had. Oh well. I'll probably survive this. And if not, I'll be dead, so I won't care.

On a different note, I've been having some really strange dreams lately. The most recent ones I can remember are these:

Tai and I are staying in the bedroom of my childhood - where it is still decorated as such, and not like a guest room as it is currently. We're just laying there, when suddenly, he says, "Let's do it on the roof!"

I'm laying down for a nap, right here in the apartment we live in now. I have a gerbil ball between my ankles...under the covers. The entire cast of Who's Line is it, Anyway? is playing hide and seek with the gerbil ball.

Tai thinks the last one is easy to figure out. He swears it's because I want to get Wayne between my legs. I think it's because we were watching the show right before bed, and had been searching for the missing gerbil ball all day. ;o)

Not again!

This is so unfair. Another case of the stomach flu for me. Again. This is the second this year. What did I do to deserve this?!

On a bright note, I learned that having marshmallows right before getting sick to your stomach isn't necessarily a bad thing. Not that vomiting is ever pleasant, but somehow it's not so bad if it's marshmallow flavored...which it was last night...for the first six or seven times. *searches for the marshmallows*