Work, work, work!

Yes, that is work X 3! Three employed adults in my home.

It's about time!

Tai got a job at a home improvement store - he's working in the plumbing department. It's not glamorous, but it'll do! And it even pays more than minimum wage! (Ok, not by much, but it's a start!) He also gets an additional $2.50/hr on weekends. And he's going to work weekends pretty regularly.

Mike got a job at a fast food restaurant that is only two blocks away from our house. Handy - he can come home during his lunch break, and he doesn't need a car to get there.

Thus far, Tai has been working 2nd shift hours, for the most part, and Mike has been working 1st shift hours. I, of course, work 3rd shift.

Sooooo...we're really having to get organized around the house. So we know who is working when, who will be getting the kids off to school, who will be taking kids to doctor's appointments, who is going to attend meetings at school, who will be home when the kids get home, etc, etc, etc...

I made a 24-hour daily planner, on which we put our work schedules bar-graph style, in different colors. Any appointments or meetings are written in as needed. I also made a "Communication log" or "Shift exchange" binder. Whoever is home when the kids get home goes through their backpacks, reads the papers, and writes down anything important that needs to be passed on to the other adults in the house. Anything else that needs to be passed on gets written, too. Like, "There's laundry in the washing machine," and "I folded the laundry, please put it away," or "We need milk." I put the schedule in the book, and I added a section for important school papers, too. And in the front of the binder, the kids' morning schedule is written out, including what time each leaves for the bus. The back of the binder has their after-school and evening schedules.

Whew. I'm not a very organized person. This is killing me dead!

We have discovered that Mike has major issues with making decisions. (For example, the other day, he let two pizzas nearly completely thaw on the counter while he was trying to decide whether to cook them in the oven or with the Pizza Pizazz.) We've also discovered that his cooking skills leave a bit to be desired. (Example: he puts the water in a pot, then put the spaghetti in, THEN put it on the stove. That makes for some really gooey spaghetti!) So I made up five simple meal plans, with directions, and I printed them out on index cards. I made pouches with magnets on the back - one for meals he hasn't made yet this week, and one for meals he's already made this week. Now all he has to do is pull an index card out of one of the pouches, and poof! He knows what to make for dinner! And how to make it! I just have to make certain that we have all of the ingredients stocked at all times. He would have issues substituting things. (Like swapping out peas for green beans.)

While I was feeling so creative and organized, I also made a set of pouches for each of the kids. One for chores that needed to be done, and one for chores that they had completed for the day. Each has four chores, typed out on index cards. They pull a card out of the "to do" side, do the chore, then move the card to the "done" pouch. This way, everyone knows what is expected of them, and the adults can see who did what for the day. Good stuff.

Soooooo....that's what's going on 'round my house! How's yours doing?

Guilt, and I'm not even Jewish

I love my job. I really do. I love the people I work with and the reason for being there. The "work" itself is pretty easy, but it makes a big difference in the lives of the developmentally disabled people I work with.

But I hate working. I hate being away from my kids. I hate not being as active in their day-to-day lives, and it's driving me nuts. And making me feel very guilty.

When I was a stay-at-home mom, I knew all sorts of things that happened at school with my kids. I had met all of their teachers, knew the little quirks of each of their classrooms, and knew whether or not each child had had a good day at school. I knew what they had packed for a snack for school, and what they snacked on when they got home. I knew whether they ate their dinner, what new friends they'd made, which teachers they liked, how they were doing in the various school subjects... To put it bluntly, I was involved.

Now? Now I work third shift, and I don't get home until after they have gone to school. Now someone else makes sure they have brushed their teeth, that their clothes are on forward, and that their hair isn't standing straight up in the back. Someone else is making sure they eat breakfast, that Perrin has taken his medication, and that they put their signed papers back in their backpacks.

Now? If all goes well, I'm asleep when they get home. So someone else gets to hear them gripe about how much work their teachers expect from them. Someone else gets to sign the behavior reports and permission slips. Someone else fixes their supper.

Now? I wake up shortly before they go to bed. I get to give them a hug (if they bother to remember that I exist!) and remind them to brush their teeth. But that's about it on weeknights!

My schedule is Monday through Thursday, 11PM to 9AM, usually. But I've agreed to work Fridays this month, too, because they need the help and we need the money. Overtime pay is good. But this means that I don't actually get home until closer to 9:30 or 10:00. I get to sleep by 10:30 or 11:00. Add eight hours for sleep, and I'm not waking up until 6:30 or 7:00. Their bedtime is 8:00 on school nights.

Frankly, I miss them. I don't feel like Mommy anymore. I'm just a stranger that shows up about an hour before they go to bed every night, and it totally sucks.

I do have to say, however, that Tai has been absolutely wonderful. He has taken on the role of stay-at-home dad with grace. He makes it look easy, and I know from experience that it isn't. He's done a fabulous job of keeping the kids quiet so I can sleep. He's done a fabulous job of getting the kids off to school, keeping them fed, and even keeping the house respectable. He gets done what needs to get done. Housework, paperwork, contact with the schools...he's got it all under control. In a word, he's awesome.

But that is about to change, too. Tai had an interview Saturday, and provided he passes a pee test and a background check (no reason he shouldn't pass either), he'll start a new job on Friday. It's part-time, and it's a job well beneath his abilities, but it will be income, which is something we need in a dire way. And as I type, he's at an interview for another part-time job. I believe both places of employment strictly take new-hires on a part-time basis, and if they seem to work out, will make them full-time. But again, this second job would be far beneath his abilities. I hate to see him sell himself so short, but the truth of the matter is, there just aren't many jobs, and even fewer quality jobs in this area. At this point, he'll take what he can get. And, as he put it, at least it's not fast food.

With both of us working, I have no idea how we're going to work everything out.

We'll do it, I'm sure. But that doesn't mean I can't feel guilty about it anyway.