I must have missed that how-to lesson

I can literally count the number of real-life friends I have on one hand...not that I need to use my fingers to count to such a small number. Of all of those friends (not counting my husband, of course), the closest is only 600 miles away. The rest are approximately 850 miles from here. This doesn't tend to make it easy to call one up and say, "Hey, wanna go out for a bite to eat?" Sure, I can take advantage of my unlimited long distance and chat with them over the phone...but sometimes, a woman just needs to get out. By out, I mean away from those brats that are going to drive her insane her kids. It's not that I don't love them...it's just that I need a 2 or 3 hour break from them occasionally. And it would sure be nice if those 2 or 3 hours could be spent with another adult capable of non-"Mama could you" conversation.

And therein lies the problem.

I don't have any friends here. None. Zip. Zero. Zilch. And I have no freakin' clue as to how to go about making any. I must have missed the How to Make Friends lesson in elementary school. Not only do I not know how to make friends, I don't know where I might go to FIND people to make friends WITH.

I mean, I'm a fairly friendly sort...at the very least, I've never been known to bite anyone's head off at a first meeting. I'm relatively polite - I don't chew with my mouth open. I'm usually pretty clean, I always wear deoderant, and I brush my teeth at least twice a day. When the kids haven't reduced me to a drooling idiot, I can carry on a relatively intelligent conversation.

But where does one go to meet people to become friends with? Church you say? Uhm, thanks, but no. Does anyone have any suggestions?