Thursday, September 25, 2008

Bye, Mommy! See you tomorrow morning!

That just about breaks my heart. I hate working 2nd shift four days a week, and I hate working a 12 hour Saturday. I hardly get to see my kids during the school year. Just enough to get them up and off to school in the morning Tuesday through Friday.

How am I supposed to be an effective parent if that's all the time I get to spend with them? If I'm not here to help with homework or hear about their day at school? How am I supposed to be an effective parent if I have no idea what they ate for dinner, who their respective best friends are today, or who pushed who down on the playground? If they had art, music, or PE today?

If I didn't love my job so much, I would find one flipping burgers while they're in school. But I do love my job. Sometimes, I am the only voice my developmentally disabled clients have because nobody else will stand up and speak for them.

Theoretically, I could work with the same people during the day...but I just know I wouldn't be able to work with the daytime staff. Their rules are so constrictive, and they have such a clique. It would also mean a pay cut.

So instead, I take the easy road, the road where I can spend my time with my clients as I see fit (as long as it is within program guidelines, of course). The one where I can take them shopping if they need something, where I can give them a hug when they need it.

But I'm not home to hug my kids when they need me.

I hate this.


kate said...

Oh dear. I guess the only thing to do is make the most of Sundays and whatever other time you have. Maybe you can have a notebook or something where the kids can write you notes when they get home from school, and you can reply and they can read what you write later when you're not home? I know you're not really asking for advice, just venting. That is hard. I hope that your situation changes for the better soon.

Willow said...

(((HUGS)) It's never easy. You'll find what's right for you and make the rest work. Honest.

Make the time you *can* spend together count the most. That's what they'll remember.


E said...

I so feel your pain! I feel out of touch with my children due to my hectic work schedule and "extra curricular" responsibilities. I will be ditching all of these things in a few short months I just hope its not to late. Hugs to you and hang in there!

Moose said...

Kids grow so fast there is just never enough time even if you have all day to spend with them. Kate is right making the most of the time you have is all any parent can do. You could look at this on the bright side. This is a busy world and the kids will learn skills from you to better manage their busy lives when they grow up.