Sunday, October 14, 2007


My brother-in-law was arrested last night.

For squealing his tires, crossing the center line into oncoming traffic, reckless driving, speeding, having an open container of alcohol in his car, and for drinking and driving.

I'm NOT happy. I'm not happy at all.

We realized at almost noon today that he hadn't come home last night. Up until that point, we'd assumed he was home and in bed. Not so. Tai had to go to work, and I started making phone calls to see if anyone knew where he was.

He wasn't with my ex-husband, Zach. That's the only person I could think of that he might have caught up with last night. That wasn't a good sign. So I started calling police stations to see if they had any record of an accident or of him being picked up.

Turned out, he had been picked up in the next county over at 3:00 this morning. Lovely.

Ok, that all sucked. But the very worst part of it was that he was DRIVING MY FATHER'S CAR at the time! The car my parents' loaned us so that we could all get to work. They'd trusted us with the car, trying to help us out, and in turn, we had trusted my brother-in-law with it. And then he went and pulled THIS SHIT. Of all of it, this was the part that totally pissed me off. costs $525 to bail a car out of jail in Peoria County, IL, if you're in for a DUI. Isn't that lovely? Plus, of course, the towing and storage fees from the towing company. That's another $150. So for the car alone, it was $675. Oh, and we had to have DAD come pick it up, since he was the owner. Fabulous stuff.

Then, of course, there's the bail. That was another $318. Add in gas, the time Tai had to take off work to deal with this shit, and ATM fees, and the grand total is $1099. For one STUPID ASS decision.

Then there was the seven hours that I put in to deal with this today. And the seven hours of work Tai missed and had to put in on this. And the two hours my father was out for bailing out the car. And the eight hours that my ex was out while he watched my kids so we could deal with this. And the time that my husband's mother put in dealing with this from Las Vegas. And the time she'll have to spend tomorrow to wire money to us to cover the check that we wrote to get the cash.

Then there will be a court date, fines, possible jail time, possible suspension of his license, possible community service, possible mandatory AA meetings, possible driving classes, etc, etc, etc.

Needless to say, we have revoked his driving privileges. There is no way we are keeping him on our insurance after this. No way in hell. He'll be walking or riding his bicycle anywhere he wants to go. Thankfully, his work is only two blocks from the house. We are also having him sign over all of his paychecks to us. We'll take out rent, give him $20 for hygiene supplies each pay period, and then pay off his mom and dad, and ultimately his fines with the rest. And it will probably take a very, very long time.

We finally addressed the autism issue tonight. We suggested that perhaps the reason he drinks every time he goes out is due to his social anxiety. And the reason for the social anxiety is the fact that he is autistic. We've asked him to go to the community mental health center and get diagnosed, get counseling, and get into a support group. There are ways to cope with the social anxiety through exercises and coping mechanisms that will work better than alcohol.

So...does anyone want a brother-in-law? I have one for sale.


Willow said...

No thanks. I have enough dysfunction in my own family. Ugh.

(((HUGS)))) to you with dealing with this crap. Some guys just never grow up, do they?

Mindi said...

Oh holy shit. I'm sorry you have to deal with this crap on top of everything else. How did he take the autism news? I now this is little to no consolation, but if it isn't one thing, it's another. Life just sucks sometimes. ((hugs)) Maybe that will help? lol!

Michele said...

WOW. What a mess!
Hang in there.

E said...

Holy cow, that's terrible! I hope things calm down soon!

Meg: said...

Mindi, actually, he said he'd looked it up in college. He'd also looked up schizophrenia - and said that was what he wasn't. LOL

So he took it well, I'd say.

Mindi said...

Well, that's good at least. ;-p

Has he seen a therapist or anything? I know my daughter is bipolar, but it's really only manifested itself since she's been older. I can't get her to a doctor, she refuses to try medication. Too bad you can't make that proverbial horse drink...