Friday, November 12, 2004

Ever since I was little

...I would have periods when I would get upset over something that I couldn't know was happening. That doesn't make much sense, but I can't explain it any better. Perhaps an example or two would help?

I got a feeling that someone I loved had been hurt, but it was nothing big. I didn't know who or when until a phone call came in later: my grandparents (1000 miles away) were in a car accident that resulted in nothing more than bruised ribs.

In another case, Late one night, I was driving and had to pull over quite suddenly because I couldn't help but start bawling. Someone I knew was either going to die, or was in the process of dying. I didn't know who. I didn't know how. I couldn't do anything about it, and it was the most horrible feeling I've had in my life. It took until early the next morning to find out what was going on in that case: one of my best friend's father called. She and her family had been in a car accident. She was banged up pretty good, and her brother wasn't going to make it at all.

Most recently, I knew that my great aunt had died before my mother called to tell me. Like...I knew the hour she died, and my mother didn't tell me until the next evening.

Sometimes I get a pretty good idea what's going on. Other times I don't have a clue, and I don't find out for several days why I felt funky. Well, this afternoon, I woke up from my nap with one of those funky feelings. In fact, I woke up in tears. And I don't have a clue why. But something is up...I can feel it.