Tuesday, November 16, 2004

All about the boobs

Any of you who know me in real life know that I have...let's just say...been cursed with more than an ample share of womanly curves. Big breasts. Boobs so big that if you were to halve them, I'd STILL have more breast tissue than the average woman. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm a G cup...except for when I'm retaining water, when I'm an H cup. (And this is while having only a 36 inch band, mind you.)

To give you an idea just how large a G cup is - the underwire in a G cup bra would be larger than a headband. The cup itself would fit on my head like a hat and cover nearly to my eyebrows. It's approximately the same cubic area as a six cup bowl. Imagine, if you will, living with TWELVE CUPS OF BOOBS on your chest.

I don't have to imagine it. I haven't had to imagine it since I gave birth to Alex nearly 10 years ago. I've been living with this crushing weight on my chest for nearly a decade. And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the backaches, the neck aches, the shoulder aches, and the headaches. It's time for them to go.

So tomorrow I start my campaign for a breast reduction. (With the doctors/insurance, not my husband...he's already a supporter.) I've made my first appointment to see a doctor about "chronic headaches". I'm not sure whether to say outright that this is my goal, or if I ought to nudge him in the right direction until he comes to the conclusion himself. I'm really not sure which would be best. I know several people who know several women (ya like that?) who have gotten reductions through the military. I figure this is a positive sign. My last insurance company did not cover it - well, they did, but the doctors had never heard of a case where anyone actually got it paid for. So just knowing people who know women who've had it done is encouraging.

If you have any suggestions for my boob reduction campaign slogans, let me know! I'm coming up short. The best I could come up with was Free Meg's Boobs, but, well, that doesn't exactly come across quite right, does it?